Under Nushagak Bluff by Mia C. Heavener

Author:Mia C. Heavener
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Red Hen Press
Published: 2019-10-15T00:00:00+00:00

Ellen imagined the tundra, despite the February wind that blasted from the bay and whistled through the door crack. She gathered the small driftwood and fed the kitchen stove as she saw herself looking into a sinkhole and seeing the secret world of the little people. She imagined herself with them, taking long maqis and eating akutaq with lots of sugar. Once the snow melted, she would go up to the tundra with her mom and find them, she decided.

The windows rattled and heaved. Ellen could hear Amos’s sled dogs howling, and wondered if they saw something more than flying snow. Her father went to bed early, having arrived from Togiak red-faced and cold. She was placing twigs in the fire when she heard a tap at the door that sounded like chatter of squirrels. Ellen stopped and wondered if the cayaraks were finally set loose, roaming the empty trails and knocking on windows.

“Ellen, Ellen girl, it’s Mama.” A low whisper came through the crack.

“Mama?” Ellen almost yelled. No, it couldn’t be her, and Ellen imagined her mother turning into a dark cayarak with a deformed head and mouth.

“Shush now.”

Ellen knelt at the door and leaned her head against the wooden frame. A cold draft blew from under the door. She listened to the creak of the wood and imagined her mom bundled in fur, hugging herself.

“Elli-uk. Come, give Mama some food.”

“Papa said no more food.”

“Come now, give Mama some, uh?”

She heard rustling in the porch.

Ellen whispered through the crack. “Wait. Wait.”

She grabbed some crackers and butter and slipped out of the house. The cold hit her like a slap and she waited for her eyes to adjust to the darkness. She could barely trace the shape of her mom—huddled against herself with the hood of the parka tied tightly around her face. Ellen felt her throat tighten. She pushed the crackers and butter into her mom’s hands. “Come in and warm up.”

“That’s all?” Anne Girl spat. “That’s all you’re going to share? Nora would give me more if I asked.”

“Yeah. That’s all we got here,” Ellen answered. She swallowed, trying to contain the urge to cry. It was there—wedged in her throat like a block of ice. “Just come home already. Your bird is wrong. Papa still flying good.”

“I need more food. Next time. Save me more.”

Ellen watched her mom leave, pausing at the top of the stairs before allowing the railing to guide her down the steps. Ellen backed into the house and kneeled on the floor. She stayed huddled next to the door long after the winds sailed around the walls and threatened to open the windows. She sat until her toes ached with cold and she was positive that they were going to fall off her foot into black pieces of meat. But it wasn’t until later when she crawled under the blankets that Ellen felt her side ache, a gentle throb in her pelvic bone, and she knew that her mama went to Old Paul’s to give her this pain.

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